What a Montenegro boathouse taught me about following my dream

Did this Montenegro boathouse guarantee a simple life?

​It wasn’t just that the property was in a staggering beautiful location. ​It was because it promised to deliver how I wanted to feel and live.

​A simple life out of the rat race. Contentment as I write at my desk looking out to sea. Unbothered by people and demands. At peace in my little haven by the beach.
After days of this image taunting me, I had to do something to calm my unsettled mind.

So, out came the calculator and notepad.

3 hours later and after 4 different redesigns and 3 options for affording it (hefty discount assumed!), I came to the simple conclusion that it was a step too far at this point. The bottom line was that it would involve too much financial strain and stress at this stage. Hmm. Not very compatible with my quest for simplifying life.

It was an emotionally exhausting experience. Exhausting because of all the uncertainty and self-doubt it threw up about my plans to renovate my little apartment in Kotor.

But it was also an enlightening experience as it taught me some things about moving closer to your dream.

Dreams always look perfect from a distance

​The trouble with dreams is that when you get up close and personal with them, they never look quite as shiny and glossy as they appeared from afar. Owning my apartment in Montenegro isn’t quite so idyllic when water is pouring through the ceiling from the apartment above and the neighbours don’t seem to want to cooperate. It isn’t such a picture of tranquillity when I’m balancing budgets and dealing with tradesmen.

Dreams present themselves as a perfect and potent image from afar, drawing us to them. But as you move closer to them, you see the imperfections and flaws. In other words all the regular niggles and frustrations that life has a habit of bringing our way.

All those wonderful pictures and snippets of other people’s lives on Instagram … well, they look sooooo good, precisely because we see them from a distance. Just like a glorious landscape seen from a bird’s eye view high up in the sky.

When we get close, we see dreams are messy. They are never quite the same as we imagined, because we never feel as totally “complete” in them as we thought we would.

​And I’ve realised that, actually, that’s OK. It’s normal and that’s as it should be in life. We’ll only get total and lasting perfection in heaven after all.

It wasn’t just that my Montenegro boathouse was in a staggering beautiful location. ​It was because it promised to deliver how I wanted to feel and live.

Finding the joy as you follow your dreams

Everyone needs to step back and adjust their perspective at times to get back on track with their lives. Whether you are moving closer to your dream or are starting to live it, it is easy to get lost in the reality and not enjoy being where you are.

My sister once explained during a particularly flat time of her life how she began to imagine her life as if it was in a film and she suddenly saw it in a different light. (And I’m thinking more Amelie here, rather than Nightmare on Elm Street).

We love the main characters of films with their imperfections and querks. We love the films where the couple fall in love through the simple things and spontaneous events. (OK. I may have been watching too many rom coms). But it is true isn’t it? Those films are successful because they remind us that life is not about having it all mapped out, having all the things ticked off our list, having perfect homes and the latest everything, sitting glossy and shiny on our drives and shelves.

We love those films, because they revive our longing for the deeper and meaningful things. For a life lived from the heart. For love and experience and passion. For the richness and romance of life in the wider sense.

So, just try imagining yourself in a film of your life. Quit staring at the things that are less than perfect and embrace the romance of your life and your dream. It won’t erase all your difficulties, but it can make you feel a lot better.

And if that is too hard to imagine, then simply stop and step back from the microscope and look at what you have achieved so far from a distance. Appreciate it and remind yourself of how far you actually have come.

Deciding what’s enough in life

But what I have right now is pretty darn good. Actually, it’s a dream coming true. It just doesn’t feel perfect and I still don’t feel exactly like I want to (ie completely contented without any striving).

The challenge of life and finding contentment and happiness is learning to find out for ourselves just what is enough for us. And that is the secret truth that we don’t always want to accept.

But perhaps we need to face up to the fact that if we keep expecting the next thing to entirely deliver the feeling, then nothing will ever be enough. At least not for long.

A Montenegro boathouse – an opportunity or a distraction?

As for me, I still love that boat house. And it’s OK for me to love it. To long for peace and quiet and a home with no water leaks from the apartment above. (I’m not suggesting that our environment doesn’t make a difference to our lives, after all!)

But I realise that it is easy to keep being distracted with another good thing that appears to promise what we want to feel. Whether it is contentment, peace or excitement, we are all looking to feel good about ourselves.

I recognise that the opportunity for something more and something different will always present itself in life. Sometimes it makes sense to take it. And sometimes you need to check yourself if you are just getting distracted by the promise of something glossier and shinier from afar.

We will never be content, if we always need to better what we have.

So, I am determined to embrace what I have and enjoy the dream I am in right now. My very own little bolthole under the Montenegrin sun.

​It may not be perfect, but it is the best place for an aspiring writer in search of a simple life off the beaten track in Montenegro.

Until next time, fellow dreamers. Vidimo se!

Now … I’ve got a movie script to work on.