Montenegro Girl x
A retreat from the world
It started off as a desire for a holiday away from the summer crowds. A need to have something other than my own 4 walls, but without the anxiety-inducing battle to social distance from other people. What I hadn’t realised though was that what I actually needed was a retreat. A retreat from the world.
Once I made the decision to stop holding out for a trip to Montenegro this summer, I quickly found a small Victorian property for rent perched high up in the hills in the Northumberland National Park in the north of England. It was an old farm-worker’s cottage at the end of a bumpy 3-mile forestry track, 30 mins drive away from the nearest shop.
If you don’t know Northumberland, it’s a beautiful area known for its dark skies and rich history of saints, castles and invasions over the years. And it welcomed me with open arms, with bleeting sheep in green open fields and stone houses dotted around, convincing me that time had stood still for the last 100 years.
The cottage at Kidlandlee in Northumberland. The video shows the spectacular view over the hills from the front of the house.
The world has been a turbulent and strange place for months now as a result of Covid-19. Even though we are out of national lockdown here in UK, I feel like I am still adjusting. Resetting my expectations of what my lifestyle now looks like. Hoisting up my flagging motivation. Trying to look at the positive things I can do at this ‘holding’ time, where we have neither crisis nor normality.
My internal drive definitely needs rebooting.
Definition of retreat: to move back, withdraw to a quiet or secluded place.
But when all those around me seem keen to get out and catch up with others after lockdown, I have realised that I just want to retreat. I want to surround myself with peace and quiet and the beauty of nature. I want to get away from having to contend with other people’s views and emotions and behaviour. I want to reflect and read and write and meditate. With nothing being asked of me from anyone.
A retreat from the world on Holy Island
Holy Island is one of my favourite places in England. Known also as Lindisfarne, it is a tiny peninsula that gets cut off from the mainland at high tide and gets transformed into an island. The 3-mile causeway gets gradually covered with water as the sea comes in and the place settles into a tranquil haven away from the world.
View of the islet where St Cuthbert tried out being a hermit first of all.
It was home to an abbey and monastery which were founded in by St Aidan in 635. Although many lived in this community over the centuries, the person that inspires me most is St Cuthbert. He was a monk on Holy Island but was called to be a hermit. He tried it out for a short while on a minuscule islet just 10 metres or so from Holy Island before moving to a simple stone building on an island further away called “Inner Farne”, where he lived for 10 years.
Is a retreat from the world simply an indulgence?
In this age where community seems to be hailed as king I wonder perhaps if I am not the only one longing for silence and solitude and a retreat from the noise of the world.
And I don’t mean an escape for a week to recharge before you hurl yourself back into life as normal. But rather a retreat to uncover, remember or discover afresh what is really important to you in life. And then start to put it into practice each day. For a different life.
We need time out to reflect, just as much as we need connection, yet it can often be portrayed as a selfish and indulgent thing in the busy lives that seem to be widely accepted as normal and an expected way to live.
My fortnight at the cottage in Northumberland made me realise that more than ever I crave a retreat from the world. Not just a yearning to be out of the rat race. But a deep need to build in some retreat from the world into my life on a regular basis. And now. Not just some point in the distant future.
One of the beautiful little islands in Kotor Bay, Montenegro
My simple retreat from the world in Montenegro
I’m so grateful I have my little apartment in Montenegro. Although it is not so easy to pop over there during this time, I know it is still there. Somewhere that I can retreat to even if just for a week. My Montenegro, where the pressure can slide off my shoulders and my soul can have some space.
Retreat for me may not mean living on an island as a hermit. Nor in an off-grid cottage in the middle of nowhere. (Appealing though they are at times). I have a husband and daughter and people that I love and still want in my life. But as I make adjustments to my life in this new season, I know that I need to build some retreat from the world into my life.
It could be a day, a weekend, or even a few weeks. It may not be easy to schedule. It will take some rejigging and some organising with my family.
But when you know that you really need something, you owe it to yourself to make some space for it.
And you’ll be a better person for it.
Bamburgh beach in Northumberland looking out to the Inner Farne.
How can I retreat from the world?
This is still a work in process for me but – in case you are left wondering – here are some of the ideas I have had to give me some retreat from the world;
1. Drive to the beach for the day for long walks whatever the weather.
2. Long walk – even if it means walking instead of driving for errands
3. Rent a little cottage off season for the weekend or a mid-week break on my own
4. Make the most of cheap flights in term time and spend a week in Montenegro, writing, reading, swimming & drinking coffee
5. Book an organised retreat (perhaps one for post-Covid
6. Simply escape to a quiet spot and kick back with a good book and a cup of tea
7. Get into a habit of journaling every day
8. And finally maybe the most important one of all. Be kinder to myself. Take the pressure off to constantly achieve.
Because after all, unless we give ourselves permission, we’ll never do any of the above anyway!
Montenegro Girl x
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