The mindset you need to get out of the rat race

If nothing else, a pandemic shows us that we are not in control of everything as much as we like to think that we are.  So why live such a hesitant life?  Why not just get on with it as best we can? And live a life that’s meaningful rather than keep playing it safe.

Coronavirus has shaken a lot of things up for people.  But it hasn’t turned what I fundamentally believe upside down – as it may have for some people questioning what life is really all about.  Coronavirus has simply made me want to accelerate it.

The thing with the rat race is, it not only traps us on a hamster wheel materially, it subtly traps our minds too.

So, with Montenegro feeling the effects of Coronavirus along with the rest of the world, what can I do right now to accelerate my escape from the rat race?

The thing with the rat race is, it not only traps us on a hamster wheel materially, it subtly traps our minds too.   So, if we really want to get out of the rat race, we need to create a mindset that allows us to do it.

Ways to get out of the rat race mindset

Here are some ways to escape the rat race that exists in our mind.

1. Let go of our requirements for comfort.

“The rat race leans towards comfort” (quote Tim Denning).  As we get older this gets particularly evident.  And it’s hard to let go of this when everyone around us is pushing the notion that we “need” things – when maybe they are really just “wants”. Things that are “nice to have”.  Convenient.  Things that convince us that our lives will be much happier as a result.  But stepping out of the rat race first requires us to face up to these things and learn to let go of some of our requirements for comfort.

I’m currently weighing up what to do with our rather tired (but functioning) bathroom.  I’d like a total new refurb with that top spec look.  But it’s costly and we may need to spend some on the roof repairs further down the line too.   So I’ve been asking myself do I really need it?  Could I be equally happy with a simpler and less costly refurb? I love interiors so this is hard one for me.  But I wonder if letting go of my desire for the best might give me the breathing room I need – mentally and financially.

2. Accept the fact that we can’t have it all.  

The pursuit of it all keeps us running faster and faster.  Get that nice house, fulfil every passion and desire, do that interesting job, gain recognition and attention, seek security in our possessions and pensions.  We get caught in wanting it all because it is masking our real need for security and control, affirmation and admiration, happiness and joy. The rat race keeps us running towards the things that will never be enough though.

Robert Ellsberg puts it beautifully in his book The Saints’ Guide to Happiness; 

Moreover for Francis, letting go did not end with wealth & property.  He also let go of his reputation & status in society, his fastidiousness, his anger, his pride & his ambitions – everything in short that hindered his ability to love.  In the end he was not left barren.  Rather the space in his heart that  was previously occupied by all these things was now filled with a joy greater than anything the world could provide.

3. Learn to let go. 

Being caught up in the rat race creates a disconnect within ourselves.  It can make a heavy life as we go through the paces in life, burdened with all the things we have to attain and then maintain. And even if we do recognise the hamster wheel we are on (which many do not), we still find it very hard to let go. However when we stop holding on so tight to these things, it can start to create space for some other far better things, like joy and meaning.

I’m working on letting go of my need for constant productivity.  The pandemic has made me much more aware of how uplifted I am by beautiful landscapes and being by the sea.  I may only have the North Sea, rather than the Adriatic at the moment, but I am learning to allow myself to make time for these things and enjoy them right here where I am. 

4. Learn to be content. 

Quit raising the bar constantly. Deciding what is “enough” whether it is income, saving, appearance, car or home. Define what your enough point is.  If you don’t then others will just keep raising the bar for you.

I’m currently reassessing my monthly budget and long-term savings goals.  Deciding what we really need to be financially independent.  And more importantly what is enough to live off right now  (watch that lifestyle inflation!).  More importantly though this task has forced me to look closer at my need for financial security.  Planning ahead financially in itself is not a bad thing, but it’s not great if it keeps you on a perpetual hamster wheel of an undefined need for security all wrapped up with a helping of fear.

5. Be bold. 

This pandemic has given me more courage to follow my intuition and make my own mind about things rather than looking for others’ agreement.  I’d rather have the approval and recognition of others, but I want to move forward with boldness and do it anyway.

6. Stop procrastinating

I can stop putting off the things I can do today for a better life.  I can clear that hall that makes my heart sink every time I enter the house.  I can declutter my clothes (even though I am dreading the decisions).  I can put up the pictures on the wall instead of leaving them stacked on the floor, because I am too scared of doing a bad job. (Stupid, I know!)  

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I may not be able to conjure up my dream life in an instant, but I can decide to get off the rat race in my mind right now.  I can take the frustrations of this current time and inch my lifestyle one bit closer to the simpler, slower life in Montenegro I crave.

There will be no perfect day for that dream life to start.  And I certainly haven’t got it all worked out.  But if I begin right now where I am with what I have in my hands to do, then surely life has got to be better as a result?

The mindset adjustments might not look particularly life changing.  But these apparently insignificant changes might actually turn out to be some of the most important ones in the end.

And maybe I will be truly fast-forwarding my plans after all.