Following your dreams & facing your fears: what I learnt from my recent trip to Montenegro

I am in the process of refurbishing my little apartment in Kotor Old Town. As the workmen arrived recently with their tools, I had to make a working trip to buy all the fittings and fixtures. This is the second time I have renovated my little property in Montenegro. And you would think this time would be easier. But it hasn’t been. But through it I have learnt something valuable about my own journey towards a simple life in Montenegro. And that is… there’s no running away from the fact that following your dreams and facing your fears are inseparable.

You’ll always have to face your fears when following your dreams.

But you can do it.

I have visited Montenegro countless times over the 14 years I have owned my apartment. But – I’m slightly embarrassed to admit – I have never gone on my own.

But this time I was confronted with the prospect of going on my own after my trusted interiors advisor, confident decision-maker and all-round lovely travel companion (aka my sister) was unable to make it because of a new job. So, it meant me, not only having to do the entire week on my own, but also make all the decisions & arrangements for the refit solo.

I had a wobble. I am a notoriously indecisive person. And I was going to have to make a lot of decisions – and expensive ones too (like bathroom and kitchens and sofas). Plus I don’t like managing builders (well, anybody, really) at the best of times. Especially in a foreign country.

The irony of it is that all those years ago I hatched the plan to buy a property in Montenegro, bought the place, organised the first renovation all as a single person. (Wow, I now wonder how I actually did all that!)

It requires strength of character to shake up the mould of your life and start to reshape it into something new

But now I was faced with the realisation that I had got used to the security – the safety cushion – of being in a partnership. Having my husband there to help and fill in for my weak areas and fears. I’d somehow lost the confidence in myself to stand on my own two feet and be brave.

Gulp. Not so nice to admit. But true.

And I was scared rigid at the thought of having to do this working trip all on my own.

Following your dreams & making the decision to face your fear

I spent a day or 2 mulling alternative options. My husband and my other sister were tied up with work. And no other option seemed that plausible or ideal. It was to be a very focussed working trip after all.

Then I came to the simple realisation that you can’t follow a dream and expect everything to fall smoothly into place within your comfort zone.  You’ve kinda just got to accept that following your dream goes hand in hand with facing your fear in some way.

​Following a dream is about doing something new and reaching for something different. It requires strength of character to shake up the mold of your life and start to reshape it into something new. And that means facing things that feel scary.